I know, I know, I promised just 1-2 posts per week - but thought I’d experiment with short-form, irregular extras as and when another preposterous lump of plastic plops through my long-suffering letterbox.
Today it’s Transformers X Canon Nemesis Prime R5. I wasn’t going to bother with this one because, well, look at his tummy, but an acquaintance was selling one half-price and I couldn’t resist.
One too many Energon pies he might have had, but he harkens back to the original conceit of Transformers in a way few modern ones do. Which is to say, a robot in disguise, as per the likes of Soundwave, Megatron and Reflector back in the day.
Apart from the fact this is about a third smaller than a real Canon R5 digital SLR camera, you wouldn’t know that it wasn’t bona fide until you picked it up and noticed the weight, or absence thereof.
Which is frankly ideal for me - someone who (despite writing all this gubbins) feels a great deal of shame and remorse for my apparently unbreakable toy habit. I can leave this out in camera mode and no-one will know I’ve bought another bloody toy. A crime in plain sight!
Of course, he is a robot too, and a remarkably pleasing and characterful one despite the Henry VIII proportions. His head and arms hide inside the paparazzi lens, which then collapses down into a darts player gut. I’m reasonably confident he’s the tubbiest Prime to date - though not without significant competition.
This is Nemesis Prime rather than Optimus Prime, by the way - basically Edgelord Prime, yer standard issue evil mirror version of our crimson hero. An Optimus version is, inevitably, available too, but all that red and blue doesn’t sit too well with the black camera parts. So Dark Side Dadbod it is.
He even comes with his own camera - because who hasn’t dreamed of carrying around a miniature version of themselves, then forcing them to take passable sunset photos?
If you enjoyed this, please consider subscribing to A Million Robots. You’ll get 1-2 free articles emailed to you each week.
I don’t have a full-fat paid subscription option yet, but these do take a lot of time and effort. If you’d like to chuck a few quid/bucks at me per month to support writing them, you can do so here. I’ll be eternally grateful, and solemnly promise to spend it all on more robots.